Conflict

We have been discussing conflict resolution for a while now and as there is a whole chapter in 'Leading at The Edge' devoted to that topic, we have a lot to learn and talk about. Last week we did the how-you-act-in-conflicts test and I found out that I was an 'owl' although I think this result was influenced by the negotiation skills stuff we did earlier on in class. The owl way of dealing with conflict seems ideal because it puts emphasis on both the goal and the relationship, and it follows a problem-solving approach. It would be great if I could be the 'owl' but as I have never really encountered conflict before, the issue is purely theoretical and I cannot say if I will actually be able to act in that way, or at least those were my thoughts when I did the test.

A near-conflict situation arose quite recently where my conflict resolution skills were put to the test. I live in a dorm and most of the time it is fun, but there are times when living with a roommate can be tiring and stressful. I do get along with my roommate but when she started skyping at 8:30 on a Saturday morning, it really got to me. I wanted to sleep in so I was a little mad at her for waking me up but I also felt bad because I knew she was talking to her parents in Canada and there is the time difference to consider. I did want to tell her not to skype so early on Saturdays but I did not want her to feel as though I was taking away her rights and I was scared our relationship would be damaged. It was difficult trying to find the right words and timing to break it to her but fortunately, she came up to me and asked if she had woken me up so that made it easier for me to say the rest. Everything was sorted out and we were both happy but I still wonder how I would have dealt with the situation had my roommate not talked to me first.

The problem I had with my roommate was not serious so the result turned out okay but in a more complicated conflict, I would need to manage the situation better. Solving conflict in real-life circumstances require much more than just knowledge. Especially, if the person you are dealing with is someone you care about, it could be difficult because you would want your goal but you would also want to remain on good terms with them, and you would want them to be happy meaning that they need to get their goal as well. I will definitely try to improve my problem-solving skills so that when faced with conflict, I would be ready.